I Can't Control Myself
by backoff22
Summary: Senna is a young demon who has a voice in her head, which she is positive it's not her own, but doesn't know who's. She is bound and determined to find who's it is though. Rated M for Language and possible adult situations in later chapters. Hiei/OC


Discalaimer: I do not own any of the characters except Senna nor will I profit from publishing this work of fiction.

Chapter One: It's how it started

My mother cried as she took the bag of coin from the head of the band of thieves. The head thief walked away and another man took his place. My mother knelt down to my level. I didn't know why my mother had tears streaming down her face.

"Senna, you must be good. Listen to the thieves and be your best. When I have enough money to pay him back I will return for you. I wish I didn't have to do this but your brother hasn't been around for years and I cannot afford to feed you."

I hugged my mother. She pulled a red piece of cloth from her hair and pulled my hair back in turn. I reached up and brushed the soft piece of sloth with my small fingers.

"I promise we will see each other in no more than one year. I love you. You are the brightness in my life."

She kissed my forehead and slowly walked backwards tears continuing to stream down her pale cheeks. I felt a rough hand grab around my upper arm and yank me backwards. I looked once more at my mother before I was dragged into the nearby forest. I looked up at the man who was to take care of me for the next year. He wasn't very big for demon standards with pale yellow hair that reached his shoulders, pale yellow eyes, and green lips. He dragged me to a small mat near the cliff edge.

"You want to stay with us; you need to learn a few things. First lesson, you will refer to me by Master. Lesson two, move while you sleep, you fall off the cliff."

I trembled as I asked, "What does that teach me?"

Shinkin's hand backhanded me. "What did I just tell you to refer me to?!"

"M-master. I-I'm s-sorry Master. What does not moving around while I sleep teach me, Master?"

"Because, you little vermin, if we have to sleep in a small area, no one will want your disgusting skin touching them."

I nodded as I looked down.

"Boy! Get over here!"

A little boy about my age ran to Shinkin. I studied him as Shinkin gave him instructions to show me around the current camp. He was a bit taller than me with black hair, a little bit of a spike to it with white and blue burst through the middle. His eyes a deep crimson color. The boy nodded and turned to me as Master walked away. I straightened my back and stared hoping the boy wouldn't take me for some worthless piece of trash.

"Come on." The boy grunted at me and started walking away.

I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about falling off that cliff. There was a nearby bunch of trees I decided to wander into and explore. I wouldn't run away because my mother promised to come get me in no more than a year. I could wait that long. I came across a pond and realized how thirsty I was. I knelt down and stared at myself as I sipped the water. Small nose, with a spattering of freckles. Check. Medium sized deep red lips. Check. Curly red hair tied back with the red cloth my mother gave me? Check. Piercing black eyes? I jolted away from my reflection. I must be tired. At this age I should've been long since asleep. I slowly crawled back to the edge of the pond and looked over. My golden eyes stared back at me. I fell back on my butt. Just as I thought, trick of my mind. I decided now was a good time to return to camp. Obviously I was tired enough to sleep and not move if my mind was playing games with me. I stood up and started brushing the dirt off my pants as I started walking back towards the encampment. Something caught my eye and I around. My vision started going black and I couldn't quite remember what I saw, but thoughts, not my own, nor in my voice, came to me.

_Because you are just three, your soul is still innocent enough for me._

The next day I woke up to my head pounding and my name being called.

"Where the fuck are you, you little vermin?!"

I clutched my head as I stood and ran to where I heard the voices. I skidded to a halt in front of Master.

"Where have you been?!"

"I-I don't know. I went to the pond to get a drink of water, and I don't remember anything after that. Um Master."

Shinkin glared at me. His pale yellow eyes seemed to be sizing me up to see if I was lying.

"Go to the weapons chest and get two weapons, you are going to train."

I was confused. I didn't know how to fight, let alone use a weapon. My mother always protected me and my baby brother. Another backhand to the face told me Master didn't care.

"Yes Master." I hurriedly ran to the weapons chest and looked for the practice weapons but could only see the sharp, blood stained, fully functional and real weapons. I grabbed two swords. I didn't know their proper names but dragged them back to Master. The boy who showed me around was standing next to him. Master reached down and grabbed one of the swords.

"What you're holding is a double-edged sword. The boy here is holding a katana. Learn the terms and use them. Now fight"

I looked to the boy, terrified as I could barely hold the sword up in front of me, let alone use it. It didn't seem to matter to him.

_Dodge to the right_

I looked around in confusion as I heard a voice that sounded extremely familiar but I couldn't place the face.

I heard a grunt as spots fluttered in front of my eyes and I stumbled to the side.

"Fight back you good for nothing bitch! We let you use the real weapons so we can see blood not bruising!"

It was then I notice there was a crowd forming around us. I noticed the head thief standing in the background seeming to see our strengths.

_Roll to the side_

I felt the boy's energy behind me as I rolled onto my back and to the side. I didn't hesitate to listen to the voice this time.

_Swing the sword to the left_

I tried to lift the sword to do this but felt a large cut spread across my stomach. I screamed in pain as I pressed my palm to the open wound.

"Enough!"

I looked over to see Master smirking, "We wanted to see blood, not have her killed. We are expecting a nice payout when her mother returns. Valentina!"

A demon that looked no older than 20 walked up to me and gave me a small smile of kindness, which I could tell she was trying to hide from Master.

"Come along, Senna was it? I'll get you healed up in no time."

I followed after her to a small table that had bottles of liquids and bandages covering it.

"I'm Valentina. I'm the healer of the group. Before you ask, I am here willingly."

I just stared at her. I was going to ask her that.

"What typ-"

"Type of demon am I?" She heartily laughed as she pushed back her lilac colored hair, "I'm a psychic apparition. Specializing in healing and mind reading."

I smiled up at the woman.

_Trust no one._

I again looked around for the voice while Valentina busied herself with getting some bandages prepared for me.

"Did you say something?"

Valentina looked back at me with a worried look on her face.

"No, I thought you had. Strange"

I stood still as Valentina wrapped the bandages around my torso, while her hands glowed a lilac color that matched her hair.

After Valentina finished bandaging me, I was told to fetch a bucket of water from the pond so lunch could be served. I grabbed the bucket and walked towards the pond from last night, wondering if I was going crazy. I wondered if I was hitting Infancy early.

"They say before Infancy ends, some demons can go a bit insane. Maybe. But I really don't want to be stuck in this sized body for the rest of my life."

I thought back to what I knew about it. My mother told me about it just a few months ago.

**"Mommy, what's infancy?"**

**My mother stared down at me with a sad look. We hadn't eaten in a few days. Maybe that's why she was sad.**

**"Well, you know how you are growing now to be a big strong demon?"**

**I nodded in agreement.**

**"Well. When you reach a certain age, you will stop growing, and no matter how long you live, whether it is five more years, or five thousand more years, you will look exactly the same after Infancy."**

**"But how do I know when that'll be?"**

**She sighed and a small tear left her eye. I didn't want her to cry, I was just wanted to know.**

**"Well, because demons mature so fast, it usually happens sometime between 16-36 years of age."**

**"But mommy! I thought you said demons are still children until AT LEAST 75?!" My voice had started to crack and whine. I was so tired.**

**"It's just the way things are Nah-nah. Now into bed."**

**I whined some more, but crawled in anyways.**

**"Now what story do you want me to read this time?"**

**I giggled because I loved when my mommy read me fantasy stories.**

**"I want the one about the Humans!"**

**My mommy smiled softly as she grabbed the book from the shelf and started to read.**

A small tear fell down my cheek. I missed my mommy. I dipped the bucket into the pond and wiped my eyes. I grunted slightly as I pulled the now full bucket out of the water. I was worried how long it would take me to get back to camp. I looked down at the bucket in frustration and saw my reflection, but instead of my golden eyes, they were again black.

* * *

Author's Note: This is my first fanfic that I am posting on here, I have a few other stories written down, but this is the only one I have multiple chapters already typed up and ready to go. Please tell me what you think, if you have any questions, or any suggestions, preferably by commenting!

Thank you for reading and hope you enjoy!


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